I want to be a Mommy

Hannah and I had an interesting conversation on the way to school/work this morning.

We chat in the car about alot of things as we drive down the PCH to Anneliese and this morning was no different. Hannah is consistent in her use of non-sequiters, popping out with random statements at any given time. This morning she said 'when I grow up I want to be a lady karate instructor'...so, being the forward thinking, 'women can do anything, and hey...COOL' mom, I said 'Wonderful!' 'You can be what ever you want to be'. Hannah then replied, 'wait' 'I really want to be a Mommy'. I replied 'you can be a Mommy AND a Karate Instructor'...and the conversation went on from there.

As I drove to work after dropping off Hannah at school I marveled at the fact that MY daughter thought being a mommy was a 'career', or 'goal' to have once she grew up. I am her Mommy and I struggle every day with the role of 'Mommyhood'. I run from the conventions of it, and struggle to through duties that I believe, come natural to others. Hannah's only real model of motherhood is me and maybe Ron. Hannah is, in so many ways a combination or Ron and I. She is feminine and loves make up, wants to wear dresses ever day of the week...walks better in high heels then I do, and yet...she embraces taekwando like she was born Korean, has a high tolerance for pain, is fearless in her desire to do new things. I see alot of myself in her. Just not the 'mommy thing'.

Maybe I am missing the point...maybe she is 'my kind' of Mommy...after all.