Boredom

Not sure if boredom is the right term to be using to describe the state I constantly find myself battling.

Most people would not list boredom at the top of their list of fears in life.  They may say poverty, hunger, danger, death, or something equally as dire.  I fear boredom.  It is what drives me to rash decisions, bad choices and to overlook (or ignore) consequences of my actions.  It is a battle I have fought all my life.  Do I do something RIGHT NOW so as not to be bored???  I also list it as my fatal flaw (my number of divorces, the pain and cost associated with said divorces are testament to the fact that when I am bored, I take drastic measures).  I can't seem to help myself by taunting the world...come on, give me something new, some sort of challenge to overcome. Chaos???  Bring it ON!

Ron is aware my desire for new things, the requirement of constant stimulation.  I am not saying it doesn't drive him crazy (he is a creature of habit who sets the clock forward and never on an even number and who thrives on routine), I am just saying he has become painfully familiar with this semi constant state I seek to avoid.

I don't think it has to do with avoiding the mundane (not that I will not happily dodge doing the laundry, shopping, prepping and making meals etc.) so much as it has to do with a consistent need for a break in the routine.  An adventure, a story to tell, a daring act of bravery (or stupidity!) that I can share in pictures, words, and fantasize about (and ultimately embellish).

I wasn't bored the year we moved here (much) and I wasn't bored this summer during cottage season (much) and I am trying hard to not be bored on the week days as I live for ski weekends (they are pretty consistent and routine though), but I keep looking for the next new exciting challenge to take on, the next story to tell or the next fantasy to execute on (I like to dream then act!)

For now, I will seek adventure daily.  Join me?