Sin

I went to church today.  Ron joked that he and Hannah were going to avoid standing to close to me in case I burst into flames.

There is a lot mentioned about sin at church.  I haven't really given to much thought to the idea of sin.  Is it that I am, at heart a sinner?  Prior to writing this post, I would not be able to list the Seven Deadly Sins.  For those of you who read my blog and didn't know either, I thought I would post them below:

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Acedia (This word translates to apathy), Wrath, Envy, Pride and Vainglory (boasting).

Consider the below my 'sin assessment':

Let's start with lust.  Lust is apparently 'excessive' sexual thoughts.  What is considered 'excessive'?  There isn't a moment of the day that I don't allow my thoughts to stray to lustful thoughts if I can.  The positive feelings and warmth associated with a lustful thought help stave off the frustrations and difficulties in every day life. Am I sinning by 'thinking' lustful thoughts or is it a sin only if I actually engage in lustful activities.  Where does one draw the line?  It is definite that I am guilty of this sin.

Gluttony is an interesting one.  The definition that is provided is 'over consumption of anything' to the point of waste.  I personally try and not be a glutton when it comes to food, but there are times when I over indulge.  I think wine might fall under this category so I am thinking this is also a 'sin' in my yes column.

If you asked me point blank if I thought I was greedy, I would probably say no, but if Greed is defined as access then I can identify with this sin.  Every time I go to Costco or Winners and buy a pair of shoes I don't need I am guilty of greed.  I guess I have to mark this one as a yes as well.

Sloth.  Yes. Lately.  There is always an excuse to not exercise, to drive versus walk, to sit versus stand.  To not give unto others, but to take (a sign of laziness) and to mentally not challenge myself to do 'more'.  No excuses, just sin.

Acedia (or apathy, depression with out joy) is probably not high on my list of sins, however, if you talk to me after a challenging, unfruitful day of work, I tend to indulge in this sin as a default.  Hmmm...I may need to put this in a gray area, little yes, little no.

Wrath. Yes.  I have (and do) exhibit rage at times. Revenge is part of wrath and I have sought revenge for my perceived personal wrongs.  Sigh...here is yet another sin I am guilty of.

On no! Envy!  I can't help but look at the bigger condo, the nicer dress and the less lined face, younger face (and/or smaller butt) and feel envy.  How does one avoid this sin? There is always someone one rung up the ladder, right where you hope to stand.

Pride is a sin.  We tell our children we are proud of them.  We say we are proud of ourselves.  I take 'pride' in my work.  Sin.  Once again, I seem to find myself in the yes, versus no column.

The last sin in Vainglory.  This is not a word we hear in this day and age.  Apparently it means unjustified boasting (modern day narcissism.)  I have to admit that at times I am narcissistic.  I focus too much time and energy on the outer trappings, worry too much about the minutiae in life and focus (okay obsess) on issues that really only effect one person, me.  If that is vainglory, then I am guilty as charged.

I didn't burst into flames today.  I took away something important from the homily as well as the theme of the sermon.

I walked away with the knowledge that I am indeed a sinner, but that the first step in atonement is to acknowledge one's sins and ask for forgiveness.

I have acknowledged that I am a sinner.  When I am ready to stop sinning, I will start asking for forgiveness.